Mattel’s Ken doll turns 50 this week. Old age but dude still looks young and has been through the wringer. He and Barbie (who is two years his senior) met while shooting a commercial in 1961. For him at least, it was love at first sight, but for obvious reasons — even to 9 year olds — they never consummated their relationship.

Their love affair lasted nearly 45 years until, like aging-super-model-desperately-clinging-to-her-youth that she is, Barbie tossed him aside for the much younger Aussie hottie named Blaine.

This seems like a particularly cruel blow considering how long he put up with her carousing through various midlife crises such as her Harley-Davidson Barbie, Florida Vacation Barbie, Sunsational Barbie and Disco Barbie phases. Based on the creased forehead and suitcases beneath his eyes, it’s obvious he tried to keep up.

The lines on his face also tell the story of Ken’s own spate of identity crises. He’s been Hispanic and he’s been African-American. He’s been a pale male and a hardcore tanner. He’s gained and lost weight many, many times, alternating between the body of an athlete and the body of a mathalete. He’s worn a fedora, short shorts and a one piece jump suit, yet he didn’t wear underwear until he was almost 10.

He’s a two time Olympian who has drifted from job to job as an airline pilot, business man and actor to name just a few of dozen careers. He’s vainly referred to himself as Exercise Ken and Dream Date Ken and in one particularly confusing episode, he became Earring Magic Ken.

So many accomplishments in life, right? And to think he is just a toy .