How To Fall Back In Love

Most scientists consider that people are programmed to fall out of love, and you must agree with this point of view. It would probably be impossible to live in a perpetual state of excitement your entire life, so it’s natural that relationships settle down and become less ardent.

After several years of living together and having kids, the spark may disappear because partners are too busy or have grown apart. Finding a new partner is not a solution – besides the negative consequences of diluting a family, you’ll bitterly notice that in a few years you get to the same point with your new spouse. The explanation is simple - all stable relationships evolve the same way.

If the only problem you encounter in your relationship is feeling the spark has gone, there are measures you can take to make things exciting again.

Touch more often

It has been noticed that stable couples don’t touch frequently enough – they probably don’t know what they are missing. Touch helps releasing brain chemicals that create feelings of attachment and affection. Changing your biochemistry through a long hug can make you feel close to each other again.

Get involved

When it comes to love and related misconceptions, the most frequent is the idea that love is something that happens to us, not something that we give or create. But, if you want to feel and receive love, you’ll need to give it first. Turn upside down the mindset that love is something you get and you’ll discover that the more you give, the more you get back.

Be grateful

If you’ve had long-term relationships, you must have surely noticed that sometimes you start focusing on the things that you don’t like about your partner or on what’s missing. If you choose negative perceptions over being thankful about the good things in your life, don’t be surprised if you feel unhappy. Why not make a list of all the things you love about your partner and share them through notes or letters? Love feelings will reignite immediately.

Surprise your partner

Your relationship is dull because all days look the same? Well, the reason why everyday is like the one before is not doing anything special. Think of something that will pleasantly surprise your partner – a romantic dinner, a trip, or a small gift. This will help bring back enthusiasm in your relationship.

Limit technology use

One of the biggest enemies of human relationships is technology. Does the following scenario look familiar to you – every evening each of you is spending time on their smartphone or tablet and you sleep at opposite sides of the bed? It’s no wonder you barely communicate and your love life is in decline. Offer your partner your full attention and set times when you’re not using technology.

Give up bitterness

A long-term relationship cannot survive without forgiveness. Letting resentment take over will kill your relationship and make you feel unhappy with yourself. Remember that no matter what you do, you’ll always get hurt at some moment and mistakes are inevitable.

Nurturing a relationship is similar to taking care of a garden – you water beautiful plants and kill the weed. Why not do the same thing with your love life?

By the Couple Clinic, a company of Winnipeg marriage therapists (www.winnipegcouplesclinic.ca).