If I look at myself and assess what I have been doing with my life, I can say that in everything I do, I stick to it…Sometimes, so much that I continue to be in the same situation for at least three years.
I’m 27 but I only have two employers - average of 3 years per employer. There’s nothing wrong with this, that’s for sure. If I take a peek at the matters of the heart, again, I find myself spending 5 to 6 years of putting that person in the pedestal.
Then I wonder, why do I feel stagnated? Why do I feel I am not moving anywhere? Why do I feel trapped with my own willful choices? Does this mean that I haven’t chosen wisely? Or is it that I have stayed too long… but for the wrong reasons?
I am not someone who doesn’t dream. I do, in fact I see to it that I dream big. But I find myself not doing something that will lead me there. Perhaps, I am too afraid to take a risk.
Good thing though that lately, I did manage to break away from my rules of convention and finally, listened to my mind.
Love is either holding on or letting go. I am a firm believer tof the latter. Lately, I learned that sometimes, I need to let go. And I did. The great part it, letting go is not as hard as you think it would be. True, tears were shed, for a matter of 2 to 3 days, but after that, I am seeing sunshine again.
Maybe I was just afraid to let go because I am overanalyzing things. That’s why, despite the heartache and difficulty that my situation brings, I found the courage to stay. I know - since time immemorial - that I was not staying for the right reasons.
This time, I promise myself to learn to let go once again - actually, it’s more of chasing a dream. I have whined and cried of not achieving my dreams but I did not try risking my comfort zone. I gave myself until the end of the year to do that. I hope I can finally achieve my career goals - and learn to let go of the wrong reasons. This time, I hope that I will not be beating myself up for staying for the wrong reasons - like I have always done so in the past…
Tags: choices
January 31st, 2009 at 8:29 am
Very well said!